mmm wine.

I haven't posted in a good long while!
I have lost my since of wonder in the world, so I am looking for what is good.

I am really into any wine sold at Trader Joe's. Right now I am sipping two-buck chuck pinot Grigio.

Today I made a decision that I will start exercising every day in some form or fashion. I should like myself better, so I have also decided to put good things in my body (and not the bad things).

I am going to read tonight FOR FUN. FICTION. Not about anything clarinet-related.

I enjoy the Flaming Lips Pandora section.

I performed in a recital tonight and I really had fun. A bonus was that I ate lunch, dinner, and dessert at recital receptions. I also got a Great Dane gift card.

I made $15 dollars for working with a student on a Broadway tune.

I laughed a lot and made other people laugh. I hugged someone who needed a hug badly.

I bought new, organic conditioner.

My clarinet teacher bragged about me to another clarinet teacher.

I cried when I watched a youtube video of puff the magic dragon.

*sips wine*

leading a horse to water

He tugs on the reins, trying to force her to the bank.
Leather, sweat, fear;
these smells will promote a certain nostalgia in days to come,
sitting by the fireplace, on the porch, in the dandelions,
wherever, everywhere.
She is determined not to cross and is determined to pull his arms from the sockets.
There is no other way but this way
no matter how cold the fresh, rushing water,
how thick and threatening the mountain laurel
(hiding demonsmonsterstrolls, whether they are there or not, they could be),
no matter.
Here is where they have to cross.
Hooves flailing and stirrups flying, she rolls her eyes wildly, meeting his.
He must go first.
She can't be led to water
she won't put a foot, a thought into it
until he submerges himself.
The river is rushing high, higher than he has ever seen it,
over the slick river rocks, limbs and logs, jagged, poking out
through the mirror-surface,
water will make its way around these obstacles,
it never ceases, never stops.
It won't stop for him or her or anyone.
She will never cross
His calloused, weathered hands toss his jacket over her head.
The world is shut out.
There are only sounds of unknown origin
magnified by a sharp cold jab, a stumbling uncertainty,
his knowledge, hers, blesserhart, that one misstep could be the end.
Nostrils flare to catch a scent and there is only him.
There is only trust.

End of an (ridiculously lengthy) era

I just read about the death of Wolfgang Wagner, Richard Wagner's grandson. He died on Sunday and he was 90 years old. I found this out through Alex Ross's blog, Unquiet Thoughts. It is strange to think that this guy was walking around after 8 generations or something. He called Adolf Hitler Uncle Wolf.

time time time time

I played in a premiere of a Nathan Currier piece earlier this month and I could never get the text out of my brain: time time time time time, so on and so forth. I always want time, more time to do more things, but there is never enough. And when I finally have that time I am more content to stare into space like a zombie, more content to feel empty and sorry for myself. It is almost as if all of this stuff I am prone to doing is filling up the silence of my life, occupying my brain so that I don't have to think about myself.

Now I guess I am going to go for a walk and look at the lake or other people. I think I will go to a coffee shop and read or study for the history exam I have to take in a month. I will probably practice and teach a lesson. I was never really good at being alone.

WTF.

So the Title doesn't really refer to anything. I just needed one, so I randomly pulled that out of the air; WTF can't I have a weekend? WTF do there have to be so many rehearsals, keeping me from going to performances, not allowing me the time to buy important items like toilet paper?

There are no answers. This is a good weekend, though. I get to play some Berg, Bruch and Bartok Contrasts on Sunday night! I will miss this rep, but it is time for it to be released into the ether. Music is always rotating in and out like relay racers in my life and this is one of those rare instances where I have had a chance to really get to live with it.

I haven't taken any pictures! I haven't had the time! However, I have decided to post an old one because those are worth revisiting as well. I want a whole day. I want to drag myself through the snow to a coffee shop (not frequented by too many hipsters), read a book, and sip a full fat latte beverage. Then I want to shuffle back and watch a new arrival from netflix, surf the internet, cook dinner, and paint or something. ANYTHING but play the clarinet.

Even the black stick needs a break. :)

seasonal affects

Things are warming up a tad here in Wisconsin. Sometimes I have to look at pictures from warmer days to feel better, looking forward to the spring and the summer. I love fall and fall fashions and boots and hats. But what it comes down to is that I don't want to be cold anymore! Last winter I felt as if I was running on adrenaline; I could handle anything, including walking 1-2 miles home from the bar after midnight. This winter I am not doing that so much. I just don't have it in me.

So, I have been looking at the Stones River. It smells pretty horrid in the summer. I used to run for miles and miles on it with my friend Joe. A 5 mile run in the summer, being chased by a thunderstorm is a pretty awesome event. I could do 5 mile runs here, but the cold is stifling my activity.

On this day, my friend Meg-han and I jumped stones across the river. Good times.

Quintetting

The blog posts trickle in. Oh look, the semester started! The one and only explanation.

My woodwind quintet competed in the Regional MTNA competition last weekend and we played well considering how little we saw of each other over break. We gave an energetic performance in the wonderful fine arts facility of UW-Stevens Point. I think the best part was 5 crazies being crammed into a Hyundai economy sized rental. Just sayin'. We played the Beethoven Sextet (for quintet), the Hindemith Quintet and Wapango by Paquito.

At the end of the day, we got an Honorable Mention, had a fancy dinner at IHOP, and got to know each other a little better. Than we did. Onto the next project!